Mental Blogger

A few weeks ago a friend (and blogger) asked me if I had been blogging lately.  If you mean lately like December, than yea! Ha...no. I actually responded that I've been "mentally blogging", but that's about as far as it gets. Why it seems so hard to actually sit down and begin a post, I couldn't tell ya. But I've been in a slump that I'm trying to break!

The whole mental blogger thing is pretty legit though. As in, I find myself regularly drafting posts in my head. I think at this point it's hard to know where to start...do I go back and try to catch up on the last 7 months, or just dive in as if I just posted last week? I think I've hashed this out on the blog before after skipping a month or so. And unfortunately I still don't know the answer...shoot!

I guess we'll call this a slight re-cap. January 4th we found out we were pregnant. It explained my dependency on naps as of late, plus a couple other things. I would like to tell you that it was all tears of joy, bubbling excitement and the whole nine right from the beginning, but honestly that didn't come till a day or two later. My immediate reaction was FEAR. My track record for keeping babies was awful, and having just experienced the sting of death a couple months prior I didn't feel up to the task of facing another devastating disappointment. I remember it was a Sunday...and I was a bit of a mess at church just trying to keep it together but inside I was crying out to God to pleeeeease help me through this, and to take away the fear I was feeling. in the next 24 hours I just kept praying against fear and for strength to face whatever would happen, and of course well-being for the tiny life growing inside. It wasn't long until the fear subsided, and I felt peace about the situation. And extreme excitement, of course.

The next few months that followed included bloodwork every week to track my Progesterone & HCG levels, and morning sickness. Actually, all day sickness. The first little while of that was actually somewhat welcomed since it was a symptom I hadn't experienced with the other pregnancies, and so it felt positive...but you only enjoy that type of thing for a VERY short amount of time. Unfortunately I didn't escape that until week 16-18, I can't remember exactly. You'd think I would have had all the time in the world to blog during those loooooong days, but I really didn't do much but exist...or try to. :) I think it's hard to explain what it's really like unless you've experienced it.

Thankfully after I got over that, it's been really smooth sailing since! I'm sure the spring coming and then summer close on it's heels helped. We made a trip to NC to attend a precious wedding and visit family/friends, my mom visited us in June for a fun week of this&that, and we had a little Stoltzfus family weekend on the lake a few weeks ago.  On the horizon are two family reunions before baby comes, so time is just flying! These days I am trying to keep up with the mowing, hair clients, and naps. I just love a good nap. :)

We are about 7.5 weeks away from our due date...that really isn't long! It will be so surreal to have this little kicker with us "on the outside"...I can't wait. There are some things I'd like to get done around the house before that happens, but if not, it certainly won't be the end of the world. Our life isn't going to come to a screeching halt, it's only going to get sweeter!

Here's to hoping this becomes a regular occurrence now that I've jumped back in...I'm sure I will treasure these words/memories in years to come! So if future Patty can convince now Patty to just get with it, that would be great!

Now I'm gonna go YouTube how to clean a shower properly/efficiently, cause I need pointers!

Thanks for stopping by! :)

(Tiny Stoltzfus - 8 months inside)